I had a short burst of not having a phone. I was awestruck by the feeling of lost I had. I remember when I got my first cell phone, and only took it with me on bikeing trips, or long walk-abouts in case I got lost or hurt. Now it rarely leaves my side. Sometimes I put in my pocket (if I have one) before I go to the bath room. It's become scary now that I actually think about it.
Somehow, I've become connected. When I was young and growing up, I enjoyed just taking off and going. Not to get anywhere, but just to go - to be somewhere - to exist off on my own. I rarelly asked anyone along, although I might tell someone I was going. Maybe not where, because I might not actually go where planned. Or because it was such a large area of destination that they'd never find me. It felt good to not be connected. There are times when I miss that feeling of self. It is reassuring to have "the network" behind you if you need them, but it's good to know that they are an option, you know, in case of emergency.
When you're being cradled by so many comfortable, loving arms, it's really difficult to stand on your own. I miss the feeling of being one of the cradling arms. Someone worries about me now. A lot. And I worry about her, too....
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I'm going to go track down something to eat. Maybe a wildebeast, or an albatross....maybe even some pasta in a bowl. Hmmmm......
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