Whoop-de-doo for December...*rolls eyes

So much much earlier ( I think ) in my postings, I mentioned how much I love laying in the grass on hot sunny day. Well today is the last day of December....DECEMBER mind you - the middle-ish of winter - and it's so super nice outside. I just got back from reading for a bit laying out in the grass at a nearby park while the temperature is a delightful 75-ish or so. Sweat almost started forming up on my brow even...quite nice.

Hmmm, let's see ...what else has happened recently. Since the loss of my old email address, a few friends have recently gotten back in touch with me *yay!* I'm hoping a few more email me, or at least know that my email got to them. Oh! Also one of my penpals from Belgium sent me a card, wishing me happy holidays. I have no idea what the greeting on the outside says, only that the card is pretty, and the lovely message from my friend, my Schmussel-monster.

Hopefully, more photos of Bean will show up in the mail soon. I know I haven't mentioned much of her lately. I am told she's growing up more, just not getting bigger by much. Her vocabulary has increased by a lot, and her teeth are almost all in too. Walking and running around she has advanced into the toddler section at her daycare *grin* I've seen the proofs of her pics...she's looking so gorgeous. Also no more bottle or high chair either...sitting at the table and drinking from her cup now...

School should start up too soon. I hope that I can get into the art class I want. I tried to register for it, but it was full by the time I got the *hold status*, which should not have been there in the first place, off of my account. Apparently there's a form I can take to the professor and get into it anyway. I've got my fingers crossed.


Onward and forward to the new year. I don't do new year resolutions, because I think if you want to change, than you should be able to do it at any point of the year, not just when most of mankind has decided to end one year and start another. As far as trying to be a better person...I don't know. Being more true to myself, however, sounds like a good deal. Even though this idea has been mentioned to me recently, it's something I think about often. Not just because of who I'm with, or who I'm not with, but because of how I see myself, compared to how I used to be long before most people who know me now knew me. I miss alot of the way I ised to be while I was in high school, before I started being social. For a little while, kind of found some of those qualities while I was in California. But I need to find them again. I need to get back, not neccessarily being antisocial, and not going out, but getting out by myself more often and enjoying the outside, nature, and just cruising on my bike passing through neighborhoods or walking around meandering through people and crowds wrapped up in my own little world of music, just watching. Just being. Sounds strange to say it but I miss myself. In a strange little way, there's part of me that misses not wanting anyone around and being happy alone. Maybe all I need to do is start wearing headphones nearly 24-7 like I used to and kind of tuning stuff out again. Maybe I just need more days reading in the grass. *shrug* I'll find what I'm looking for eventually. I know I will.

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###............................Mom, I love you......................###
###.......................I don't tell you enough.................###
###........................** big hugs to you **..................###
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There are more people that I send my love to, each for various reasons:

Charlene - you have always been a great friend even when we never talk to each other for a year or so...I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Toni - even though you don't accept it, nor believe it, I do care about you a lot. Through those years I was in the Marines, you were very special to me. I hope you find happiness in something else besides despising me and me being happy where I am.

Lillian - too young to read this herself, but still precious beyond belief. My love goes to her that she grows up smart and goofy and true. Whether I have time with her or not, I hope she is happy throughout life and isn't filled with bad thoughts about her father later in life.

Ann N. - I think you may have been my first love, even though, I didn't know it until it was too late to do anything about it. I'm glad you have found someone as awesome as you have and are happy with him. You are forever beautiful in mine eyes and I'll always treasure the days and evenings that we had back in Bloomington.

to ALL my family - I don't keep in touch as much as I should.

to my old friends that count the most - same thing...not near enough contact and I'm sorry.

Darbi - for being so generous and loving, and for more than I know how to say.

Mrs. B.W. Williams - wherever you are, you were on of the greatest teachers I've had and were a great inspiration. I shall never forget you.

Corinne - you know why I love you. ( *Oh, goodness !* hehehe ) and so much more than that, too

That ends the list for now. Thre are more out there that have special places in my heart, but I honestly don't think I have the time to list you all individually.

So Happy New Year to all ! Be safe and true and watch out for the loonies !

Hugs and love to everyone,
Chris

email and IM crap

Looks like my main Yahoo account got hacked into or something because I can't access anything from my curly_jones username....If anyone want to contact me through email or Yahoo IM use jones_C_C@yahoo.com same as the messenger name....jones_C_C...

more badnews as well, my door fell off of my van. Luckily I was parked when it hit the ground (yes, the ground, not my toes). The rear roller on the big sliding door had broke and when I went to take the covering panel off to see if it was fixable, the whole door came loose, and on its way down snapped the bottom support assembly as well. So. until I get those parts for my van I'll either borrow Darbi's car or make sure I'm wearing a jacket when I drive this winter...lol..

Good news however is that I made 'B' in my Biology class and my sosciology final was super easy...no essays, only multiple choice, but I don't know yet what I made overall. Also, sold back my books and made a few extra dollars...woo hoo!

That's all I can thnk of right now. Happy holidays to everyone out there. Stay safe and have fun!

Talk at ya'll later !
Chris

Wheeee !!!

Runs and slides across the blog and disappears once again ! ! ! !

Gross post....seriously.

I've got a neighbor who is up there in his years and lives his retired life across the street walking his dog Max and doing other retired-people things. Not the most computer savvy by any means, he found out I know a bit about computers and calls on me every once and again to install or maintain his computer that he bought a few months back. Sweet guy that he is, he returns the favour by buying me beer. Not just any beer mind you, but Guinness. That make it some expensive computer work, but apparently he has no qualms about it.

Which brings me to the gross part. I warn you now. If you don't want to know, don't read ahead. Just go google something else like perfume and rose petals.

I love my Guiness you see, but the Guinness doesn't quite love me back. It gives me quiet and deadly gas and makes certain wastes products smelllly and gross. I am not going into details, but I will mention that I usually have the urge to take a shower afterwards so as to feel totally clean again.

Speaking of Guinness by the way....**eyes shift in the general direction of the fridge**...

That's all for now, I've got some stuff to take care of in the fridge...Take care one and all !

Chris

Up and down....

So first off I'd like to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving. May all of your tables start full and end empty, and your bellies just the opposite.

Good news that I have is that cool weather is here. I finally have an excuse to wear the other half of my clothes - the few sweatshirts and jackets that I own - at least once in a while. Texas Renaissance Fair is going okay. I started with a job I didn't care for but a replacement was found, and now I am once again working for CrystalStix. Yay ! This season has been slow for faire attendance. The few days when there were a lot of patrons they were grumpy....except for this past weekend. Lots of people on Saturday and all in good moods.

Sad news from back home...A friend of mine that I grew up with found out Wednesday that her husband died in a car wreck. They had been married 4 years, and have two beautiful children - a boy and a girl. I am heading down home tomorrow (Friday), funeral services are Saturday. After I leave there I'm heading back up and driving up to fair. Everyone out there be safe these next few weekends. Sleep BEFORE you get behind the wheel, and drink after you're done behind the wheel.

On another plus, I bought a new camera that should hopefully be delivered early tomorrow. I'm impatient and want to test out it's battery life and features and stuff...

Til next time I post, be careful and I love ya'll all.

Chris

Partying like it's 1499!

Maybe I've got the year wrong, but my point is it's the 21st century and I'm supposed to have electricity. For the past two days we've had power outages that have lasted for aroun 7 or 8 hours...and we're being told this will go on for the next couple of weeks. It wouldn't be as bad if the power came on before the lights went out but nooooo...it's off from about 2pm til almost 10pm....grrr...anyway, I'm going to go get my homework done before the power goes out again.

Peace out ya'll !

Chris

Drizzles and breezes

Well, It's Saturday, and the whole group of us around the neighborhood stayed up most of last night waiting for the big storm to hit. A lot of boarded windows and unplugged electrical stuff and all we got was a little bit of wind and a steady drizzlling. Nothing worse than any other rainstorm we've gotten...except this time we got less rain. Our power didn't even go out in our neighborhood. Pwer losses were reported but not as much as expected. Greatly disappointed am I.

Good things out of this though... I got to see my mom for a little while; Mom got to have a few days off in a row; our pantry and fridge is full of food and drink again (at least for a while);

More later when I get around to it...Be safe, all ya'll.

Chris

hurricane....whatever....blah.

Well Mom got the word to evacuate cause hurricane 'rita is heading her way, so she's finally got some time off and is coming up for a visit. Well it was found out a little while ago that our area is under voluntary evacuation, which can probably be translated into imminent evacuation. Blah. Me, Darbi, some friends from next block over, and my mom will probably be heading up the road a bit for the weekend since the reciept of this information. I'm pissed. I'd rather wade through feet upon feet of water and be miserable than deal with the traffic on the interstate. It took someone we know an hour and a half to go ten miles. Wow.

Mom's taking the trip at night....HOPEFULLY the traffic is somewhat lighter and not so bad all the way up from her house. Also I hope it's not so bad if we take the trip tomorrow (or Friday) because VW's don't do well with idleing through traffic for hours at a time, what with being air-cooled and all. (Air-cooled engine) + (moving very slowly through hot Texas weather) = (Not Good At All)

Talk at ya'll later when I get back...if my computer's still in usable condition...and the phone lines are still up..and we still have electricity...and, well, you get the picture.

Enjoy ya'll's weekend and stuff !

Chris

Untitled Post (sorta)

I kinda of feel like crap. Not physically or anything. But I haven't returned some phone calls that I should. And not for any good reason. I found out via livejournal, that Bean was running a fever, and a really high fever at that. It peaked at 103 but dropped. Also Luci's purse was stolen from her car. The only thing she recovered was her phone, however, the screen was apparently broken. Someone found it at a store and found the home number to contact her. So aside from drawing and sewing this weekend, I was worried about Bean and Toni. But did I call? No. I'm not sure why I didn't...it's not because I was too busy, or not thinking about it. I just didn't.

So, to whom it may concern, I'm sorry...

Now I'm off to finish mowing the lawn short and hoping the heat kills the grass.

Hope everyone made it through their weekend alive.


--Chris

Stuuufff......

So I've got three computers:

-----One good and working desktop as my main computer - this one I'm on now and has all my music and pictures and internet access

-----One old but working desktop - it uses a text based Linux operating system that fits on and is run from a 1.44 Mb floppy disk. This will be for learning programming or whatever.

-----One old and not quite at all working laptop - this used to my mom's she bought 5 or 6 years ago. It needs a new power adapter, the keyboard has a few keys that do not work, and I'm not sure if the battery is still good or not. Plus, it has no operating system...I can't use the restore disk for some reason, and can't format it for the same cryptic reason. And I can't do ANYTHING to it until I get an adapter. To get this one working would just be neat.


On another subject...Molly the van had a fuel leak. Luckily it was just that the end of the hose connecting to the tank was kinda cracked. Replaced that length of hose and everything seems to be peachy again. And not nearly so gasoline-smelly everywhere. Woo!


The time for the Texas Renaissance Festival is again drawing neigh, and I'll be working at Bald Mountain hat shop. Or at least at one of their hat shops...I hear there will be several booths around the fairgrounds. If anyone from the Houston area, or anywhere for that matter, is going to be at TRF, feel free to come look for me and say "Hi, Chris! I read your blog." I think it would be neat to meet some of the strangers that read my blog (if there are any).

And to all out there that read this blog and that I actually know, I love you all and am glad to know you. Even if communication is infrequent and scarce, I am glad that are or have been part of my life.

Came across a neat print this weekend too....had a little flower painted in watercolour (I guess) and beside the flower was printed " I walk, I fall, I get up........Meanwhile I keep dancing." Something about it just makes me smile and feel all goofy.

That's it for now...I've got one more paragraph to type on my sociology paper for tomorrow. I'll talk at you all later on.

With the greatest love possible,
Chris

WHOA ! ! !

So...I finally found some of my bookmarks after installing Linux and Windows, then reinstalling Linux and Windows with different sized partitions, then reinstalling Linux again cause I screwed something up, then AGAIN cause I screwed something up....thus explaining my long abscence from talking to a lot of people and getting anything productively done besides mess with my computer.

Anyway. Back to the point....I found all my blog bookmarks, and was reminded that "Oh, yeah ! I've got one too, and it's been...**peers at the most recent date** OH GOODNESS GRACIOUS ! ! It's been about 3/4 of a month since I've even LOOKED at my blog much less update it. Here I go !

Not sure where I left off and what I haven't said so I may repeat some stuff...such is my way.

Darbi lost her job due to some inner-office and (outer-office) crap of which she had knowledge. She wasn't involved in it, but knew the people that were, and got canned for it. Two weeks later she picked up another job, one which she likes much better. What she took in a pay cut, she's making up for in gas. 8 minute commute as opposed to the traffic she fought 20 -40 minutes to get through.

Luci has had it with her job (for quite some time now) and is preparing to drop that job like a bad habit. She recently applied for a job at a local college working with the bookstore -more specifically to be a Manager of the mail orders and stuff ((if I understand it right)). I probably didn't describe it quite right but MANAGER is the important word. She's been through one interview and aced it. Selection is down to her and one other, through an interview with the Big Boss. Good luck, babe ! I know you'll be great ! She's also going through some crap with some of her not-so-immediate family - one's it seems she would prefer not to call family. BUT ! things are coming around and it seems that those who deserve it are going to get what they deserve...both on the good and the bad ends of things.

Bean is getting bigger and growing teeth and walking more. Woo woo ! Currently I'm told she's cutting her molars and screaming a fuss to beat the devil. Also I've no specific information on how well she's walking, but I hear if she through a ball across the room, she's getting closer to being there when it reaches the other side...well, maybe not THAT well. but I'm sure she'll have it in no time. I believe the exact words I was told were, "She's a real pistol!" I may not express it much but I'm pretty proud of her. I'm proud of her mother too, for being a single mother, and dealing with all the stuff she's dealing with...she should know what I'm talking about...

I went down a few weeks ago and applied at photostudios in JCPennys and at a place in the mall. Thursday I had interviews with both places. JCPennys was 1-on-1, Picture People was an interesting group thing. They got us all talking, and answering open ended questions so as to get out personalities to show a bit. Kinda cool. Both interviews seemed to go okay. I dont' know which I'd rather work for either...we'll see.....

On Friday, I got an email from a friend of mine who works at the Renaissance Festival and she was offering a job. Said I was one of the first people she thought of. Made me feel pretty good. So, tho job is working at a hat shop, for 75 bucks a day. Woo woo ! She was looking for a guy and a gal so I asked Darbi and she was cool with working there, too. So that's an extra 300 bucks a weekend (in theory) for working probably 6 hours or so on Saturday and Sunday....not too bad a deal.

My big worry through it all is that I'll get overtasked, but it's only for a few months, and I can deal with that. A few hours lost sleep while doing homework, before a day of work or school, and a weekend of fun, relaxation, and a few more hours of work...and of course taking pictures of all the Ren Fair goers...mmm....scantily clad women in chain mail....mmmm...cleavage....and of course all the other outfits people wear up there...fairies, orcs, wizards, centaurs, fauns, all kinds of characters...and some people go through a lot of time and money for their outfits.

There's been a lot going on over the past few weeks. Some good, some not so good. Overall....not too bad *grin*

So until next time, enjoy the life you live ! Life is good....

Dreaming of the beach,
Chris

Current events

So i found out to use my huge-mongous hard drive in linux I was going to have to reformat it with a different file system. To do that and not lose all my music, photos and various programs and other stuff I had to put everything on CD. Took a little time but I got it done..my biggest fear was that the disks wouldn't burn corrently or they'd get scratched or something else that would result in not getting all my files back onto my hard drive. Well. Time comes for me to start putting stuff back. First thing I check on are my photos. Music I can get back. Programs I can redownload or borrow. The photos from some of the places I've been are going to be pretty damn impossible to replace - my friends, and events I experienced with them.

Needless to say by now, my fear became reality. While most of the photos still transferred back safely, I think half of the archives have something wrong with them. I was able to recover some of those photos. but I'm still pissed.

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The rain outside is frustrating me. Or rather the lack of steady rain. I'm working on a project out in the yard which requires some sawing and drilling...both electric. So I start putting stuff away as soon as it looks like it's going to come down. And with as unpredictable as the rain is recently, it could pour after just a few sprinkles.

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Luci. I haven't spoken with her in a few days. Before she left for NY for her bilogical father's wake/funeral...something. I'm terrible with details, and apologize for it. Either way...her dad died, and although it hasn't stressed her out as much as it has her siblings, other incidents surround his death have affected her a little. Also, she has had to be the calm in the storm for the others it seems.

I hope this past weekend went as well as possible considering the circumstances. All of them. And if she need someone to talk to about this past weekend and what went on, and needs a shoulder to lean on, well, I'm glad to lend mine. However, I strees that my shoulderis for this past weekend and it's events. Not for matters between us.

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I'm also curious as to Bean's number of teeth now, and how far she can walk unassisted. It was such a good feeling seeing her waslk while I was down there a few weeks ago, even if it was only a few steps - she stood and did it herself. *grin*

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Well it looks like the rain decided to not come through for the moment. Stupid weather. I'm back off to the yard to hopefully finish this part of the framework for the pond.

Hope to talk at ya'll all later - whoever all is reading this.
Be safe out there. And enjoy life.
As much as life sucks sometimes...it's still damn good.

**Hugs to all**
Chris

Hummingbirds

Oh my goodness ! A hummingbird just flew in through the patio door, buzzed over my head over to the other side of the room, buzzed right over my head again on it's way out ! Wow !

Linux....among other things

So ...I've got this new operating system Linux taking up my time and confounding the heck out of me. I've been busy learning about new file types, and how to install, move, copy, and manipulate files without click and point interface all over again. It brings back some serious memories of reading programming code to my mother nearly 20 years ago...(probably closer to 15). Also, it feel more satisfying ( at least for now ) to actuall tell the computer what to do instead of just clicking and dragging.....**note to self: clean keyboard cause it's infested with little tiny ants**...One problem so far is that I'm still trying to install my video card drivers correctly. Another drawback is trying to access all of the files I saved through windows. Apparently I don't have permission to read my own files under Linux...I'm working on it though.

Also going on is some problems with Luci. I know I haven't really mentioned her in a while. We've been talking a bit, and arguing a bit more, but that's typical recently. The other day we had a big discussion where basically she told me to screw off. I told her I'd like to be her friend, but I don't want to be her shoulder to cry on when it comes to matters between us. She seems to take it that I don't want to be there at all for her. How can I get her to see that in order for her to start getting over me she needs someone else to discuss all this with besides 'me' The way I look at things, it'll be harder to get over me if I'm her emotional support in all this. Am I wrong in the way I see things? Or is she letting her emotions cloud her thinking?

I've a long list of things I want to do. A lot of them are to do "one day" as in *"One day I'm going to... :update my photosite "learn Japanese and sign language :go to Japan and live there a few years"* You know..."one day." Whether the day will actually come for a lot of things on my list (which grows longer by a few things every week), I don't know. I hope that they will happen, but a lot I don't expect to happen. *Hope, but don't expect* Words I tend to live by I think. I have my dreams and goals, but if they don't come true, I'm not going to be that disappointed by it. It's not that I failed at anything; it's just that things in life didn't exactly go my way - things didn't fit to MY plan. Which kind of slides me into another point. I don't let a lot of matters affect me. I try not to get upset much because in the grand scheme, there's not a lot that should. If something happens that doesn't make you happy, then either ignore it, or change the situation a bit so that you are. You don't always have to agree with things. Sometimes acceptance is all it takes. Once you accept a situation and see - actually see - where you are at, you can move to change it.

So, I've a long list of things to do. I prioritize with a combonation of what makes me happy, what really matters at the moment (cause this always changes), and what is in my ability to accomplish.
Right now, jumping on the trampoline in my backyard fits all three of these criteria. Then macaroni and cheese for lunch while reading up on Linux.

So I hope this brings some brightness to your day M. I've updated my blog *wink* That goes for any one else out there that was missing the random words of my life.

Till next time...
Chris

Projects...

"So here's the earth. Chillin'. DANG! That is a pretty schweet earth you might say..."

Wonder what that goes to...check out this link. It's a flash animation that no one knows who the maker is. But it's friggin hilarious

Which brings me to my point of this post. I'm planning on learning more on FlashMX. Hopefully creating some good (or bad) animations and stuff for everyone to see. Also I want to work more on a few 3D modeling programs that I have. A little more complicated than FlashMX but cooler in the long run - hopefully end up making Pixar quality stuff.

All of these will be after my newest task. I have and am downloading a few versions of Linux. For those that don't know Linux is an alternate operating system - most people have Windows, because that's what usually comes provided. It's supposed to be better than Microsoft Windows from what I hear because it's open source - which means you can change anything you want if you know how. Also it's FREE. Totally and completely. It is apparantly for the people, by the people.

So I may be on and offline a few million times while I install one system after another and possibly back again and try to figure out which one I like best. Bear with me.

And for all those that were concerned about the missing pair, we have resurfaced. The van's inspection took longer than exppected, so we ended up being late for the movie (came in at the opening credits) and ended up shopping and eating afterwards. Although it's great to know that your cared about...good gravy! Lot's of drama went on the other night.

So I'm off and away to fiddle around with computer things I hope I know enough about. Til next time I talk to all ya'll and see the ones that I see, take care everyone, and be safe.

Chris

Back from VA

ahhh.....I love the beach. Great stuff, that salty water with the waves, next to the sand with the things living in it. And to make it even better, I was there with Bean, her mom and family. There were a few big discussions, but overall it was a really good time. The Hard Rock Cafe - which is awesome in general - has a really awesome crew at the Myrtle Beach location. Rocks!

Well I'm back at home now. Now to start looking for books for school, and a part time job somewhere possibly - or maybe trying to sell some photos I've taken. Also on my list of things to do is find a new program to help me updat me webpage and photos at

Well, I'm going to go strip down and start a load of laundry before taking ashower and washing my hair. It still feels kinds icky from the beach. While swimming in the ocean makes my hair look really kick-ass, it does leave it feeling totally gross for quite a while.

Talk at ya'll all later! Time for cleaning after the trip !

Chris

Out in VA - cont.

okay....let's try this again now that she's down for the night. Getting up super-kinda early to head to Myrtle Beach for the fourth. Bean has so much personality at one. She know what she wants and isn't happy til she gets it alot. Hopefully she goes far in life with that kind of drive. She also loves to be outside. Almost sure as rain if she's fussing and you bring her outside, she'll calm down and be alright playing with a tree or splashing in the li'l plastic pool.

After we get back from the beach there's not much time left for me here in VA, but I'm going to try to find a program to help me update my webpage at tripod and post new pics of Bean from my trip here and at the beach.

On semi-personal notes...Luci and I shared a lot of truths. Most of it I should have told her a long time ago. I was trying to protect her feelings by lying to her, and it ended up biting me in the ass. It's something I do a lot, but have recently been trying to remedy. It's a slow journey, but I think I'm making progress. I think we're both going to make it through everything - each in one piece? I hope so.

I don't like hurting - for me or for others. Such is life, and we do what we can.
Good intentions and bad judgement curse us all.

Til I get back to my computer, I'll take care and all ya'll do the same. Be safe out there in the world. It's a screwy place. Gwahahaha ! Ha !

Christopher J - nekkid and free !

out in VA

Hey every one out there who reads my blog....well nevermind..gotta go ...Lillian's fussing

Virginia

Hello everyone out there. I'm out in VA visitng my daughter and her mother. Mom's out at work and Bean is laying down for a nap so I've got a few minutes.

Bean is getting so big. She was measured yesterday and is 29" and 19.6 lbs. She's so cute with her teeth too. And move? Crawling around like the wind - across the floor, up the stairs, and every now and then stands up with the aid of a couch or tv stand. Today is her 1 yr birthday! Woo hoo !!

So far things aren't too bad with Luci. She's got something on her mind, I can tell, but she hasn't opened up to me about it yet. I'm going to ask again tonight after she gets home from work.

Life is good though, and it looks to be a great vacation. Especially next week when we go to the beach.

Gotta go, audience. Someone stirs nearby.

Til next time,
Chris

A memorial

This past Friday Darbi and I recieved some sad news. A friend of ours had died the week prior of unknown causes. I've only known heater for a year. But in the times that I was up at the "Happy Hippy Commune" with the rest of *the boys* and a few other friends we shared a lot of good times together. Also she had a huge love of photography and of my camera - something we both had in common.



While she hadn't been alive for long less than a 1/4 of a century, she lived her life well. She had good times, and rough time. She was sweet and kind, but stood up for what she believed in and got up in your face when it was neccessary.



I am glad that she left this Earth living full, and working the renaissance fair circuit. She was with good people before she passed away, and was enjoying life, both in work and play.



This little tribute to Heather is not just from me - but on behalf of all of us. Everyone you knew and touched in your life for the better. For those who didn't like you, may you meet them in the afterlife and kick their asses.

*cartwheels across America*

Ok...so I know it's been a while and for that I'd like to apologize. But I won't...I'm just lazy. So there.

Information dump first: I've been sewng here and there(again) since Scarby Ren Fair is over. That and fiddling around the house, doing some minor upkeep is what I've been keeping myself busy with while I search online for jobs instead of getting out of the house and searching, where I would be told by many to go home and apply online at their websites. Harumph.

We have 5 baby kittens that were born on my B-day (Apr 23). If anyone would like one (or five) I can mail it to you in a small tupperware, or you can pick it up in our backyard. I've decided to keep the door open and am sure they will find their way out there shortly. Where they go fom there, I care not. I'm tired of stepping across a floor sticky with a film of cat urine. Ew.

Someone in my life (my ex, and mother of my child) who I'd like to call friend is being pissy. It seems I cannot say something nice without a slew of unkind comments (or statements, whatever) being thrust back into my face. These comments would be more tolerable if they were solely about me, but they are inclusive of my gf as well. Darbi has tried to be friendly and has also stopped (as far as I know) talking to Luci so other than just being with me, there is no reason to jab at her. Blah.

I've recently downloaded Firefox web browser, and like it immensely versus Internet Explorer (the popular standard). One cool add-on to Firefox is *Stumble* It's a toolbar button that loads a random webaddress - either a site, picture, or whatever. It's so very addicting I think. Wow.

There's probably some more new things around but I can't think of them at the moment. That's okay. if they build up enough maybe I'll get around to another post *grin*

Now a request for one of my friends out there. Cheesepickle, I'd like to ask you a question or two about where you work and to whom should I talk about getting a job there and stuff.

Hope this satisfies some of you antsy readers out there for now. Talk at you all later.

*peek*

*poke*

life and stuff

recently been playing a lot of video games....well, actually, I've just been playing two. But I have been playing them a lot. Kind of keeps me distracted from doing other things. Like cleaning, or folding clothes or other chores. The strange thing is after doing chores I feel good. After playing games all day I feel crappy. Not just that I got nothing done, but seriously mushy-brain crappy.

So today, I need to fold the clothes in the dryer, wash *and* dry whites, and possibly organize a back corner of the garage naked. Definitely have to dry the clothes I wash. One of the roomates washed a blanket Sunday. I took it out yesterday...and had to smell 3 or 4 days of couped up dampness. Permeated the entire house. *gag*

Well that's what I need to do. What I'm going to do (at least for a little while, is play video games though. I'm procrastinating, I know. But at least I realize and accept it. And acceptance is the first step.

Talk to you all later on. Have fun, and hope ya'll are more productive than I at the moment.

--Chris

So long books, so long school !

Done with school for this semester at least. I know I passed Psychology, pretty sure I passed English, and without even knowing my grade am positive I passed Algebra - no sweat. All that, and I didn't even try half the time. Now I have all day long to look for a job. Any one out there that can help me out ??

Plans for the fourth of July. I'm going out to Myrtle (sp) beach to spend a week with my daughter, ex, and her family for little Bean's birthday ((June 29th)) in conjunction with the holiday. Hopefully everything goes smoothly and without major incident.

Well, it's been a long day. Kind of felt very unproductive, so I'm going to go sew on my new vest/shirt thing, and try to continue on sewing some new pants together. Woo hoo!!

Talk at ya'll all later on. Take care and be easy out there. Peace.

--Chris

Nada Mucho..

So I'm just kind of chilling around on my day off school. . . Applying online to a few jobs. Whatever happened to the days of actual interaction?! Maybe a little cleaning, maybe some video games. I'm so tired of not having a job. It was okay for the first few months, but now after about a year and then some of not having a steady ob that I like, it's starting to be a bit old. Well...I'm off to find food and stuff my face a bit. Talk to you all later.

--Chris

Multiplicative....*hahaha*

Just say it..."multiplicative." Sounds pretty cool doesn't it. I think so, too.

Well got up not quite as early as I had hoped to. Bed and snuggling felt too nice. Eventually I made it out of bed and left almost when I had planned. Made it to class with about 5 minutes til. Not too bad, but I like to be early.

I'm hoping that Darbi is reading this from home because she feels like crap recently and is nauseous (sp.) and all that. But she said this morning, "F*ck it; I'm going to work anyway." Well, I tried to talk her into staying home but she's as obstinate as I am. I woulda went to work probably too.

So I get out of bed, get ready, and hop in Molly (my super awesome van) and drive down to school in Deer Park. Looooong drive, but I didn't even come close to falling asleep. So far in all my travels, I've not dozed off while driving Molly. She's too fun to drive...that and the steering is a little loose. So you have to constantly make minute adjustments to stay on the road. And no power steering for me. Just a mega huge steering wheel.

Well I'm super hungry and have sandwiches waiting for me in the van. Gotta give an oral presentation of my english research paper in a few hours too, so i figure i oughta practice a little.

I'll talk at ya'll later on everyone. Take it easy and be as cool as you want to.

--Chris

Van. At last !

SO...I called about Molly (my van) and P.N. said she'd be ready in about 30 minutes. So in about 20 m inutes I'm getting a ride down there, and driving my own wheels back up to the house. I'm soooooooooo fricking excited I hope I don't get in any accidents !! !! !! Woo !! !! !

See ya'll on the roads !

--Chris

The "damn faire", and my van.

So I was supposed to pick my van up Sunday after we get back from Scarborough Ren Faire. Woo !! Double blessing weekend ! Well...

On the way up we swung by and saw Darbi's mom and dad, then went up and some friends of mine. We more or less consider each other brother and sister. So me and Darbi have a comfortable place to stay on the weekends that we go to Fair. She lives only about 12 miles away. Alright !*grin* So we stay and visit, my "sis", her rascal of a boy (8yrs)and her beautiful daughter (8 mos)

Faire...wow. I love it. I still feel the call of the road, but school takes priority. Saw tons of people that I remember, and lots that remember me. One wants me to take photos of her for her portfolio. I'm starting to feel almost like a pro photgrapher. Wierd.

THEN we drive all the way back home. I call the guy to see if the van is ready to picked up and that he'll be there. He kind of sighs...and says no....not quite. He found a new leak cause some of the seals were wrong. Nothing too big, but nothing to let slide. The motor runs great and sounds wonderful, but leaks oil out of the push rod tubes. SO...hopefully today, after school, I shoudl be able to go pick it up. This time however I'm not getting my hopes up and hyping myself all over for it. Just in case.

I'll let everyone know how things go, and if I'm cruising around in my super-cool-mega-awesome fly ride. *grin* Woo !!

Take it easy all. Ya'll be cool out there.

--Chris

The icy grip of central air conditioning

Yes, I know I live in southeast TX, and yes, I know it doesn't get cold here. My issue however is that knowing these things to be true, I have still been waking up FREEZING for the past few mornings. This is not due to the weather. Well, at least not the weather being cold...it's actually because the weather is warm. One of our roommates has to have it super cold to sleep comfortably and even though we have the vents shut in our room, me and Darbi still receive a good bit of that chill central air and wake up miserable once we get out from under the covers.

Don't get me wrong, A/C does feel good at times. I however only need about 2 or three minutes of it until I am cool and then I start getting really cold. I don't like being cold. It's painful. Being a little skinny guy with no body fat, I exude heat but have no insulation to keep it in. So I can keep others warm, but just not myself.

Now if you put me in the sun, I can stay out there all day and sweat...I may complain, that's almost a guarantee. But it's not really heartfelt complaining; more like repeatedly commenting about how hot it is. When I complain about the cold however, I mean it. I've been in several conversations about why cold is better then hot because you can always put something more on to stay warm, but can only take off so much. I can't remember if I've mentioned this before, but all my friends know it -- I don't particularly like wearing clothes. The main reasons I cover up is a) public nudity is pretty much against the law, and b) courtesy. I know many people who don't necessarily want to see me naked. That's just not their thing, and that's cool. As much as I hate being cold, I've even been out in the snow naked. Not for very long mind you; just long enough to go out and either put the dog out on the tether, or to un hook her and let her back in the house. This was up in NY around Nov/Dec. Just a little chilly *lol* Clothing is just not really my thing.

Talking with my girlfriend Darbi the other day, she brought up a good point to counter the advocates for the cold. Although yes you can always put more clothes on to stay warm, you will have to eventually take them off. Unless you want to sleep in them and bathe in them. There will have to be a time when you are either naked, or nearly so. As for being to hot and only being able to take off so much, there are light and breezy clothes out there that keep you decently covered and at the same time allow you to be somewhat unclothed. My personal favourite is a sarong. Loose fitting, allows for plenty of air flow, easy to take off, and easy to grab and cover up when necessary. All this reminds me...I need to do something to tottaly block of the vents and hopefully keep that evil chill out. Whe you love heat and taking HOT showers, it's not fun at all to have to get out of your hot steamy shower, all wet and dripping into the icy air or your room.

Well we all have to deal with things at times. Such is life. I'm off to deal with this vent issue while I remember. Talk at everyone later. Take it easy, and be safe.

--Chris

Ah, sweet summertime...or at least close enough for me.

As written in my notebook around 12:45 pm this fine Friday afternoon:

So, it's lunchtime and I'm laying out in the grass at school in the middle of campus. I have plenty of green grass, a decent view of everyone that walks be, and a nice breeze every now and again. One problem: I'm sweating my balls off. Or just about. The sun is blazing down on me here in my black shirt, and not-so-thin short pants(which totally rock in my opinion). Why don't I just move over to a shay area? Not after 30 minutes? One hour? Because I'm a glutton for punishment. I do stuff like this quite often. I self punishment was a sport (and I'm not talking masochistic level) I'd be champion. Or at least a close third.

Maybe, just maybe, it's to prove to myself that I can take it. That I can handle what nature is dealing me and not fold to the dealer. I complain left and right, but I still LOVE it. I much rather prefer this to cold, or even to chilliness for any extended length of endurement. I don't even need to take 10 steps and I could be relaxing in the cool shade with the same green grass, the same hottie-scoping view, and the same cool breeze. Maybe it is a slight twisted form of masochism. Subjecting myself to this hour long roasting and smiling the whole time. Same thing goes for little bits of electricity too...woo ! But that's a whole other story for another time. I've actually got a few "shocking" stories...mmmmm....amperage...

Rarely, if ever, do I subject myself to there blissful miseries for attention or for public/social approval or acceptance. I'm not saying it's never happened for those reasons, but it'd be a rare occasion.

So my question for you. . .What blissful miseries do you subject yourself to? Roasting unnecessarily in the sun? Feeling the steady, secure squeeze of a corset or bodice? Bare feet on a steaming sidewalk? Repeated heartache for repeated reasons? Stiff drinks with their stinging burn in our throats?

What pain do you crave and endure just for the simple pleasure of a tolerable pain?

Crispity crunchy,
Chris

Yay for friends ! !

Interesting stuff...apparently my friend Darbi can't get blogger to load right and publish her awesome post that she says she has written. I can and all I'm writing is this bit of nothingness.

Just got back from a pretty good time at Sam's Boat. Got to feel up my gal, another friend's gal, and another friend. Wish I could spend an evening giving the one friend an entire body rub, but she is not quite up to it because of the fact I have a gf and that she would mind, which she wouldn't. The band wasn't so good, though. Well, actually let me rephrase that. The band and the vocalist played well. The instrumental parts were good. JUst when it came to the singing. Hm. The vocalist sounded good as long as he wasn't singing anything that was loud and screamish, or emotionally strong. He had a good quiet voice, shall we say. But eventually the stopped, a few of my friends cheered quietly and high-fived each other, and the juke box started.

On a worse note, one of our friends got pulled over while driving a drunker friend home. Pulled over 'cause the trash-ed (yes, with two syllables) yelled out something he shouldn't have to a cop that had already pulled someone else over. Well, three tickets later for various reasons, they made it home. Man. . .

Well I'm off to bed and stuff. Hope I make it to school tomorrow in time to get donuts. Hope I have 1.20 to get donuts. Talk to all ya'll later. Be easy and take it safe.

The naked monkey dude

Chris

As an afterthought

Just cause some of you might be interested... I've got an alternate website not updated as often as this with phots from my journeys and travels and whatnot. PLease feel free to visit and comment about it.

http://nekidtater.tripod.com

Chris

insignificant post

I'm feeling a little uninspired for posting today, and low on creativity for off the wall stuff. . . So here are some bits of useless information form a book I bought the other day "Useless Knowledge" :

"The orginal name of Pepsi-Cola was Brad's Drink"

"PEZ Cnady was first marketed as a compressed peppermint candy over 70 years ago in Vienna, Austria. The name PEZ was derived from the German word for "peppermint"...PfeffErminZ. Today more thatn 3 billion PEZ candies are consumed annually in the United States alone."

"If one were todrive from Los Angeles, California , to Reno, Nevada, the direction in whinch he or she would be going is northwest."

"A ball of glass will bounce higher than a ball of rubber. A ball of solid steel will bounce higher than on e made entirely out of galss."

"A buccula is a little-used term for a person's double chin."

"Babies are born without kneecaps; they don't appear until the ages of 1-6 months old."

"Cold showers actually increase sexual arousal."

Alright...I mist be getting back to my english paper again. Enjoy these little useless bits of trivia. Impress your friends ! Until next time, take care and take it easy.

Christopher

molie olie !

Holie molie olie !! It's been a while week almost since my last post. I had kind of hoped that I'd keep up with this more often, but I didn't really expect. Words I believe in: "Always hope; never expect." Basically, i mean it that you should have hope, and want, and wish, but don't put faith that things will happen; don't build yourself up for a huge let-down. Life will happen as it does and all you can do is hope that you're thought about in the grand plan.

Okay, back to my week. I worked 3 nights from 7pm til about 2am and one night from 7pm til 4:45am. Ugh. I was installing registers for JC Pennys'. Luckily that last one was only about 30 minutes away because not only did I have to take Darbi to work, but I had to drve down to school by 8:30. . .about and hour and a few away. I think that was one of the longest days I've had recently. After class I drove back up to Darbi's work, crawled in the backseat and slept. Almost 2 hours. Then she got in and drove home while I slept some more. An hour nap after we got home and ate, then . . off to see PAUL OAKENFOLD!! Woo! So many people, it was awesome. I love dancing and i use my hands alot, but with that many people it's hard to move your hands like I do and not hit someone. But on the flipside, it was so crowded that you couldn't move around with out touching someone or someone touching you. I love that.

I'm big on physical contact. Sounds kind of dirty, but I love touching people. In passing, on the arm, back, or hips as an indicator that I'm sliding by and on which side, or just sitting around or something I like to rub people's backs or arms. And especially hugs. Hugs are just great. It's not an erotic thing for me (although it can be at times), it's just something I think feels good. I don't think I am, but I hope I'm not the only tactile person out there.

This weekend I have english research paper to write, and I have been working on it slowly. I just procrastinate this because I dislike research papers for no good reason. Blah.

There was something else I was going to mention or say but I can't for the life of me remember whatit was at the moment. Perhaps I'll remember later on. Anyway. For now, it's back to english and stuff. As always, ya'll all take it easy out there in the real world. Here in Never Never Land life is always interesting and fun. Oh, such fun, and you are all invited for a stay.

Second star on the right
Straight on til morning
Chris, a Lost boy.

Brand new week

Well, it's monday. Woke up and decided not to go to my morning classes today. . . Bed just felt so good. The company I had definitely helped with that. After dropping Darbi off at work, I came back home to do Algebra, and even though I love math, I decided to lay down in that warm bed again. With plans of getting up around 10 and making it to my 1230 English class, I soon dozed off. Woke up to the CD playing in my ear at 10 and promptly turned it off, rolled over, and slept some more. I really do nbeed to stay up more and be productive, but wow. Warm bed. N-i-i-i-i-c-e.

Within a minute or so of me waking the second time (third actually) I recieved a phone call. It was Darbi telling me that she and Luci had a long chat this morning about me and a bunch of other stuff and now seemed to be pretty good friends; or at least on the way to a decent friendship. I bet I'm in for some interesting conversations in the future. Wish me luck !

Spent the weekend out of town. Went and met Darbi's parents. . . no big thing, just happened to be along for the visit. They seem cool, and the seem to like me. I am in absolute awe of their house. It's HUGE as well as the yard. They've got massive amounts of land, and loads of animals. It's gorgeous out there. The only possible drawback is that it's a couple of miles out of a small town that's a few hours from a big town. But that's not too bad.

Went and saw Robots and Ring 2 also. Robots, difintely go and see if you get the chance. Wait for Ring 2. Not nearly as creepy as the first one. Decent plot, but just not nearly as creepy. Oh well.

That's about all for this weekend's update other than getting a little bit of homework done. So long for now. I'll talk at ya'll all later on. Be safe out there in this mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world.

Cafe Day !!

So far in my life there seem to be only one person that can really pis me off. Not just get on my nerves, but make me lose it and actuall yell, and possibly throw something (not at her, I would never allow myself to do that). This person is my daughter's mother *Luci* Although I understand a lot of why she thinks some things, the way she assumes others is what gets me in a rankle.

But enough of that. On to better things for now. I'm wearing a couple of my new sarongs today *grin* I've got my new blue one wrapped around correctly down to my ankles, and the other new one (green with blue dragonflies) is around my waist like a sash/cumberbund type thing. Yes, I have gotten a few strange looks and comments here at school, and I've only been to two classes so far. Still have another to go, as well, as lunch at Casa Ole, and some banking. I'm used to it by now although I still feel slightly on edge when certain people stare. I don't like responding to smartasses, or punk kids trying to pick a fight or something. Really annoying. And pointless, because more than likely, I'll crack a joke back at them and laugh it off. I'm not getting into a fight over something as insignificant as your close-minded opinion.

Hmm, what else? I've only got a few more boxes left at the house to bring up to *Darbi's* and then some stuff that'll wait til i get my van back (the closet, shelf, icebox/sink that goes in my van). It's a great day outside today. I've got to fix my bike when I get back home too. Oh yeah ! I've still got another bike sitting at my aunt's for me to bring up too. . . I've got WAY too much crap. That migh wait til my van is fixed too. . . OH ! Look at the time ! Time to go to lunch. All ya'll take it easy and hope you get a chance to lay in the grass today and feel the sun pass by slowly.

See ya !

Still Friday ! Woo~~

Yup Still Friday and the weather is GREAT outside

I'm officially (sort of) moved in with *Darbi* and Co. now I only have a few more items and boxes to shift locality of The big things are my bike and my computer, which I'm going to try to do today Also I'm going to head down and make Molly's final repair payment and hope to have her back within the next couple of weeks For those of you who don't know(probably many) Molly is my van. . .a 1973 microbus with camping modifications I added a moonroof and took out the sink and closet, but still have the bench-seat / bed and the card table I can't wait to drive her again Woo ! Well I'm off to lunch Going to Casa Ole as usual and going to probably draw a little while I eat If you ever want to try to find me a good place to look is at the Casa Ole near San Jac in Deer Park on M-W-F right after they open I'm hard to miss if you know what you're looking for Maybe I'll see you one day Maybe you'll see me

Take it easy every one I'm outta here !! Enjoy the sun !

It's Friday !! Woo ~~

Okay this is going to be a two parter, only 'cause I forgot to post this past Wednesday on something that rankled me fiercely. . .

I have to ask Where has most common traffic courtesy gone??? I'm mainly talking about the little lever on the side of the steering column. . . yes. That's the one. The turn signal. I was driving down to class from the Woodlands the other day (long ass trip down to Deer Park) and several people jumped into my lane in front of me as if their life depended on it. About 8 out of 12 people didn't even bother putting a signal on. I would have been satisfied with even a half-cracked-signal-as-I-am-changin,-last-minute-thought signal. It's not that hard.

Next. Granted it was raining for the beginning of my trip, but 30 mph. . .c'mon ! Even after the rain stopped (well almost stopped; it was drizzling) usually traffic is moving at least 50. Not this time. All the way down 45 from 1960 down past the northside of 610 was going 30. And not steadily either. Stop. Go. Stop. Crawl forward. Stop. Although that is another of my biggest peeves, I can handle it for a little stretch of road. But not all the way down.

I don't know if god was bored and felt like being malicious that morning, or if there was just a massive case of "what-the-hell" going on, but Damn, Was I glad I was on 610 out of the mess. It too me and hour to get from woodlands pkwy to the 610 loop. Blah !

Okay. . .I'm done. Sorry for griping. Thanks for listening. And as always, let me know if I eve unjustly opinionize upon everyone.

It's Friday !! Woo ~~

Okay this is going to be a two parter, only 'cause I forgot to post this past Wednesday on something that rankled me fiercely. . .

I have to ask Where has most common traffic courtesy gone??? I'm mainly talking about the little lever on the side of the steering column. . . yes. That's the one. The turn signal. I was driving down to class from the Woodlands the other day (long ass trip down to Deer Park) and several people jumped into my lane in front of me as if their life depended on it. About 8 out of 12 people didn't even bother putting a signal on. I would have been satisfied with even a half-cracked-signal-as-I-am-changin,-last-minute-thought signal. It's not that hard.

Next. Granted it was raining for the beginning of my trip, but 30 mph. . .c'mon ! Even after the rain stopped (well almost stopped; it was drizzling) usually traffic is moving at least 50. Not this time. All the way down 45 from 1960 down past the northside of 610 was going 30. And not steadily either. Stop. Go. Stop. Crawl forward. Stop. Although that is another of my biggest peeves, I can handle it for a little stretch of road. But not all the way down.

I don't know if god was bored and felt like being malicious that morning, or if there was just a massive case of "what-the-hell" going on, but Damn, Was I glad I was on 610 out of the mess. It too me and hour to get from woodlands pkwy to the 610 loop. Blah !

Okay. . .I'm done. Sorry for griping. Thanks for listening. And as always, let me know if I eve unjustly opinionize upon everyone.

Good and bad; it happens now and then.

So first off, I have to say that last week was great. *Bean* is so beautiful and I guess you could call it chatty even though no one understands what she says yet. After all, she's only 8 months. *Luci* is still the same *Luci* That's both good and bad. Although I don't think I could ever date her again, I wouldn't have her change for the world.

That's was the good. As for the bad, it seems some sinus and lung congestion I've had for the past 3 or 4 weeks has apparently been something a little worse. Yesterday before I took *Luci* to the airport, I was feeling a little worse than normal. Upset stomach, a little headach. I just chocked it up to anxiety or something. Well after I dropped her off and returned home after dropping off *Darbi's* car, I decided to lay in bed. Didn't feel like doing anything else. Not even getting on the computer much. So I crawled into bed, and stayed there from aroun 4 or 5 pm until about 7 this morning when my alarm went off for me to go to school. "Nope," says I, "ain't happening." So I rolled over and lay there for another 3 or 4 hours. I've been up since then having hot flashes , drinking water, and watching t.v. Only time i get up is to refill my glass or to blow some lung chunks into the garbage can.

That's al for now folks. Perhaps I'll see a doctor soon. *Luci* says she won't help me pay for my van's repairs, but she'll be damned if I feel this bad for this long. Makes me feel pretty good.

I'll see ya'll folks later on. Take it easy everyone.

Long awaited visit

Since June my family has been waiting to se emore than photos of my daughter - to actually meet her and hold her and spoil her a bit. The day(s) have finally come. Well, they're coming soon anyway. Starting this Sunday *Luci* and *Little Bean* will be here in Texas ! Even though she probably does not believe me wholly when I say it, I am going to very happy to see and hold her again. I'm talking about *Luci* as well as *Bean.* I may have fallen out of love with her, and am moving on, but I still care and miss her now and then.

Next week I may or may not be here much. Yes I know how pointless that statement was. I will be traveling a bit touring the family, introducing my ex- and my baby girl.

That's it for now. Gotta do Algebra. See ya'll !

Okay...I'm going to try to finish this up this time. . . Hopefully I won't take up too much more of your time with this.

I left off mentioning how *Luci* is a big phone person. I however am not. She feels like she is making all the effort of keeping our friendship and what's left of our relationship together and kind of working because she is the one to make the phone calls seemingly everyday, and the cahtting and emails more often than I do. I, however, feel like I am doing my part because while on the phone or in the chat box, I ask questions and try to answer using more than one or two words, unlike my counterpart who (during the rough conversations) will utter "okay," and "fine" and "not bad," in answer to my questions. So I just hush up with nothing left to say or ask, and I hear this: "You're quiet. Why?" This is usually the start of a Discussion.

Things are getting better though. We both attribute to the roughness of the conversations. We both dig and push. I think I see daylight at the end of our tunnel.

Well, on to my point of bad news on Mondays (yes, I had a point when I started 3 or 4 days ago).

*Luci* had talked with me about her going to the courthouse to file paperwork so that custody was official and not just by vocal agreement. Well, I agree that this is fine and dandy, but didn't expect what I got in the mail this particular Tuesday that felt like a Monday. Actual Monday, I found in the mailbox a li'l pink slip to pick a certified letter up from the local post office. So down I go. Pick it up and sign for it. Look at all the millions of stamps on it. The return address from Virgina. Hmm. . .What's this?? Open it up. Unfold it. **lean in close to look at it ** Whoa !! Check this out. . . It's a court summons ! Says "I COMMAND YOU" to appear in this court on this date. Nope. Not happening. Can't afford it. Wish I could, but can't. But the good news is that *Luci* had been talking around to family and friends, and apparently we can get papers drawn up the we both agree on, and get them notarized, and that should be suffice to represent my presence in court. That's what I'm hoping at least. We'll find out soon.

Okay, the telling of the tale so far is not complete in information and sub-stories, but has reached the present time. Bits of the story may come up later on as lost chapters and little anecdotes, but that will be for time to tell.

So long for now friends and foes, young and old. See you 'round next time.

Keep on keepin' on. Take it easy.

Intermission

Figure I'll take a small break from my trip down memory lane to say," Jeezum Crow! ! ! It's raining like a big dog out there ! ! ! AND It's a little on the cold side. But at least I've got the good luck that I'm not on my bike today. . .I'm borrowing my ladyfriend's car today (and tomorrow, and Friday, and all of next week) *Darbi*'s so good to me. More than I deserve probably. ANyway. The rain is great and wonderful [except for the cold] and the wind is spectacular.

I must be off now to do banking, and eat again. It's only been about an hour or so. . . but I'm starving ! ! ! I'll talk to all you cool cats later. Keep it real on the homefornt all my G-dawgs ya'll. *grin* heeheehee. . .

Peace.

And so I continue...

. . .Not happy, but content. Yes, those were pretty much my exact words. I know, I know...not the best phrasing at all. Not by a long shot. It's a bad habit of mine that I'm slowly trying to remedy, but making little progress. . . Yes, that's where we left off. . . and that was the beginning of the middle of the story. Oy.

I uttered this dreadful phrase to her as we were at her sister's. She had been feeling kinda ill, but we attributited it to a bug that had been going around. No need to jump to conclusions. No need to worry. It's okay; she'll get over this soon. Nope. Didn't happen that way. She comes home one day, looking a little shakey, comes in and just hugs me, and I hold her. Then she pulls it out of her pocket. "Oh, wow." Yup, that was me speaking. Not, "Oh, crap," nor was it, "Oh boy!" but, "Oh, wow." Kind of just neutral. Like I said, it was just something that "is." I know that it only takes one time not being careful, not using a condomn, or pill or whatever. It's heard and told everywhere. And that is exactly what happened.

Imagine us one night, after foreplay, me poised between her legs, both of us more than ready for penetration. However, (if I remember right) we were out of protective rubber sheaths, or they were way across on the other side of the room. Either way, it makes little difference for the following. Prior to this night it had always been with a rubber with her, and I think it would be nice to feel her skin to skin. So I ask, "Do you want to chance it without one?" and I see her nod her head slightly and say okay or some other affirmative response. It felt good. Smooth, warm, and slick. All the things it's supposed to feel like. There's just more sensation and it's so nice.

We finish, or at least I do for sure, and I think she did. It's been a while and as with most minds of men, things like that get fuzzy with time. Like a day or two. You know most of us don't care about that too long after it happens. But, anyway. Directly after as we lay there spooning, me holding her in front of me, I feel her crying quietly. Yes, felt more than heard. "What's the matter?" I ask of her. She mentions something about periods and time intervals, and the relavance kind of dawns on me why she might be crying. I wonder why she didn't mention this before the copulating act, because I probably would have waited til we had protection, or crawled across the bed for one (depending on which memory is correct). Well, that was the end of the bedtime fun for a little while. Once suspicions were confirmed it was back on, and skin to skin everytime; what was the harm?

**Fast forward to mid-December, through the morning (and evening) sickness, crappy feelings, and various other thigs we'll return to later on**

I'm travel down through the states on my way back home - cold as hell in my van. I have no heater. It's a 73 VW bus. My feet are right behind the metal in the front of the bus. Directly behind the pile of snow on my bumper getting buffeted by 60 mph winds. You know those old country AC's? The ice-blocks and fans. Yeah. That's what my feet were behind in the middle of December coming back from NY. Crap. Cold. Ouch. One of the most miserable experiences I've ever experienced in that van. Heck, even not in the van, just ever.

So I'm back home in Texas, looking for work. I catch on with some friends and work up at Scarborough Ren Fair while living off of Unemplpyment Benefits. Not too bad, living in my van up there on the campgrounds. I'll tell you here and now there was sex a plenty there. More, if I had tried, but I just took what came my way. Granted it wasn't that long after breaking up with *Luci* but while this wasn't "empty sex" with someone I'd barely met, it wasn't deep lovemaking with an intimate friend. During this, I'm fairly honest with *Luci* about what's happening. I try to protect her from getting hurt too badly while still try to be honest. I give her guarded facts. We have some rough conversations. We have a few good ones.

Through the months, things have gone uphill and downhill; there are good times and bad on the phone and internet. Mostly she tells me that she feels like she was just another "piece" to me. She doesn't think that I care about her anymore. While I do not love her like I used to, I still do have love for her. I still care about her. Else I would just ignore the phone calls and emails. I would drop out of her life, knowing that I would hurt her by doing so. But I don't. As much as we keep saying stuff to make the other upset -- yes I take blame in stuff not getting better -- I still try. Even though, I don't stay in contact ro talk to her as often as she'd like, I try to make conversation more than a few words at a time.

She is a big phone person. While in NY and when I was in VA to watch *Little Bean* be born ((amazing , ablosutely the biggest, speechless "WOW" you can ever muster)) it seemes she was on the phone, nightly to her mother or her sister)) I however, am not. Give ma half an hour to tell my big stuff, and then it's down to chit chat, and I don't care to chit chat. Unless of course you can counter my stories with another, and we go back and forth for a while like that. One problem , though. . . since the break up and beyond, she doesn't know what to say to me. Therefore I have nothing to counter-converse to. Thus, creating (**insert dramatic music**) a DISCUSSION. We've had numerous of these Discussions. Most of them are worked out to amicable tones, but only after much explaining and debating.

Oh, well.

This isn't exactly a good stopping place, but alas, I must. I'm am running numerous with my words. More will come later. Do not fear. It is inevbitble. . . inebbitavl. . . inevvit. . aww screw it. Continuation is immenent. All things move on and end eventually. . .

Til then - keep on keepin' on.

Story time...history of a li'l girl...*Little Bean*

Bad news usually comes on mondays right. . . ? Isn't that the way things are supposed to happen. . . Well, here's some news. . . it happens on Tuesdays too.

First, a little background for you guys. Back in October of 1999 ( I can remember the exact month cause my father died then ), I started talking to a group of really cool people in a yahoo chat room. Well, things progressed with one of these individuals to the point of talking outside the chatroom on Yahoo messenger, quite often, nearly non-stop. This friendship continued for the better part of 4 years online, while I was in Japan, and in California, and in Iraq. There were a few times when communication was sparse, and feelings got a little rough, but we felt like we loved each other. I believe that I did, and still do to an extent; I may not be in love with her though and wonder if I ever truly was. But that is beside the point for now.

Next step, before I leave for Iraq we actually meet face to face, and body to body. She is as beautiful as I ever imagined. I cried when I saw her and acted all girly as I ran up to hug her as she came walking through the hallway where the plane passengers emerge. Yeah. . . I'm manly. I know. Anyway, that week was alright. I battled traffic for an hour to see her from about 7pm to about 12 midnight every evening for a week and then drove the hour back home. Then back to New York she went, and a few weeks later I get relocated to a vast desert of sandiness and unbelievable heat, surround by fellow Marines. Ooh Rah and all that crap.

Now it's time for me to exit the Marine Corps ((*yay*)) so I come home to US soil again, and drive my VW bus home to texas, but not before I see Norah Jones in concert from like 6 rows back ((*insert more girly screams and tears*)) I make it home and after seeing family, head up to New York to live with *Luci* ((names have been sub'd)) for a bout 3 months. During these three months I realize that although we may agree on a lot of things and I am content in her company, we do not exactly think near enough the same way, and there are several indescribable little things that would drive me crazy had I to stay with her long term. Also during these three months, around Halloween we start to suspect that *Luci* is with child (**nervous shakes**) and shortly before the grand turkey-lurkey-day in November, our suspicions our confirmed via E.P.T. from the local drugstore. I am neither enthusiastic about this, nor am I devastated. I just kind of accept it as something that just "is." To make matters worse emotionally, back around Halloween I let her know my take on the difference of "love" and "in love" as well as telling her that I could settle for her and be content. Not happy, but content. Yes, those were pretty much my exact words. I know, I know...not the best phrasing at all. Not by a long shot. It's a bad habit of mine that I'm slowly trying to remedy, but making little progress.

Let me know if I'm going to fast for any of you all out there. I'll try to slow down a bit and re-explain some stuff. I try to be unbiased when I tell stories, and in later posts about the subject of me and *Luci* and our *Little Bean* If anything need to be cleared up or untangled..feel free to stop me at any time. . . but I digress. . .

Long and short, I've been summoned to court over in VA I believe in regards to custody of *Little Bean* I'm posting this now. "A brief history of *Bean* Part II will appear soon.

Hope I haven't bored ya'll too much; at least you all will know to skip the next posting of Part II if you didn't like this telling of this story. . .As always. . .Take it and be, well, you know.

Mondays....blah..

Well, it's Tuesday but for some reason I almost thought it was Monday. Speaking of which. . . last night at work wasn't too bad. Me and a relatively new girl got swamped waiting on a table of 24 people. PLUS our other two tables. Service was kinda slow for my other 2 tables, and the cooks in the back were all screwy so it was just bad overall for them, but I still got a five dollar tip from each. All-in-all I walked out with 39 bucks *grin.* Another kinda of strange thing about last night/early morning is that I had a pretty interesting dream about one of my coworkers. . . details of the dream will be respectfully omited as well as her name not mentioned. I will say though that in the dream there were photos taken, loose clothing taken off at one point, an a few seductions back and forth between us. Too bad it probably won't go that far out in the waking world. Who know's though. Life is strange but good.
For now I'm back to getting some articles found and a thesis for my english brainstormed and all the jazz. I'm thinking about writing an argumentative about the legalization of free file sharing...but details are yet to be seen.
Have fun everyone ! Take it safe and be easy. . .
or take it easy and be safe. . .
whichever applies more
See ya'll later

Work...

So, wouldn't you just know it. As soon as I start getting the hang of waiting tables, and actually making a fair amount of money. . . I'm quitting and moving. Isn't life neato. We all live our choices.

Dreams and reality....

"We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dreams."

(in a sing-song voice):"A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men."

Just a couple of quotes from a beautifully colourful movie. I cannot wait for the remake with Johnny "the Hottness" Depp. Woo !! Going to be a grand and glorious movie. I've yet to read te book, though. It's been among my top to-do's for a while now. But, alas, as you will all learn, I am a HUGE , repeat H-U-G-E procrastinator. It's pretty impessive that I've actually got more than on post on here **grin** Let's see how long that lasts.
Anyway. . . I interup[ted my algebra homework jsut for the cause of putting some tremedously inspring quotes up here. For some reason everytime I see this movie it hits me deep and makes me feel sorrow for a lot of the world and their outlook.
So. . back to listening to my movie and catching up on procrastinated homework.

*&* Super points to those who identify the movie solely from the quotes *wink* I love you guys/gals. For those of you who guessed it after the hints in the opening sentences. . . not too bad. Ya'll are okay too. Everyone else. . . go watch Empire Records. Another superb, yes, superb. . .superb movie, although not where these quotes came from. *&*

Hmmm.....perhaps I'll quote from that movie one day for all of you.

Live hard, love long, dream your reality, and never start making sense...

AArrrggg,,,hhh,,uuugh,,,

Sooooo, up again at butt-crack early before the sun is out so I can come home from the Woodlands in time for me to make it class, and my ladyfriend can be at work by 8. Yes AM. Ugh. So here I am desparately needing another nap, some food [ more food actually; I ate 2 hours ago ], and a shower. Directly after publishing this I'm going to see about getting a pic up. Nah. I'm just going to take a nap instead. If anyone out there who knows me and reads this before 5 or so...give me a wake up call around 4:15pm Texas time. Today's Friday the 25th for any confusered individuals out there. Yay Friday...except for having to go wait tables at a local mexi-restaurant. Too fast paced for me. That's okay soon. 6 March is my last day. Paperwork is in and plans are made. Hmmm...now only if I had fun plans for after work.....damn the luck; fun plans are hard to come by when you ride your bicycle everywhere....blah. Til next time...Keep on keepin' on !

*peeking through the window*

Peering around the corner, I dare to take my first step (well second actually) into the big world of the web...woo!

Alright...one more for now

Okay. So now that I'm off the phone and can actually use two hands to type, here's a few more words for everyone. I'll use this for my li'l intro cause I'm never good at first time stuff when I'm the initiator. One-of-a-kind individual (yeah I know...redundant) living in the Houston area. Love to lay in the grass and read on a sunny day...blah blah blah...and I love to tell stories. TO really enjoy one of the stories of mine is to watch me tell it. From what I hear...it's pretty entertaining. Well I have to pack up for a weekly trip up north. Gotta love live music and sweet goofy ladyfriends *wink* Also my pinky is killing me everytime I hit the "Enter" or "Shift" key or something. About a month ago I was sliding my had along a wall at Sam's Boat up in the Woodlands and got a splinter rammed up alongside my pinky's li'l fingernail. Can't see it to get it out but you can tell it's swollen a li'l and it hurts like a sunnofagun. I'll dig all you cool cat's later on.