That's pretty much how I'm feeling at the moment. Not only am I drinking rum (straight) and not pulling a face each time, but I'm also freshly single. While not delving into details, the dissolution of the intimate relationship was a result of me being a dumbass. As the vague story goes, I was not totally forthcoming about details of an encounter that transpired one afternoon over lunch. This omission of fact was the last straw (3rd strike) of my dumbassedness.
I cannot say why I wasn't completely honest. I don't internalize well, nor as often as I should. As most as I can say it's like there's a wall that I want/need to get over/through. There's a gate, but no handle or latch on my side, and I can't get through to the other side until someone opens the gate. She's done being the gatekeeper, and I don't blame her.
Damn. I like rum.
Freedom has it's good points/feeling too, so I try to concentrate on those so that I don't feel so bad about the price I'm paying for it. I'm not happy about what I did or the way things transpired, but I am glad that we are at least still on amicable terms.
Shit, shit, shit.
Early comes too soon. Tomorrow is voting day and it'll be my first time. Yes, I know, Subject change, but hello....drinking. I hope the line isn't too long. While I don't particularly mind waitning in lines, I've planning on being at work at 830 or so and don't particularly like to be late.
Blah. The sleepy suddenly hit me. I'm going to bed. I will talk to you all next time, and hopefully I won't be so drinky or rambley at the time.
G'nite all!
Keep on smiling and stay as bright as the future.
**Wow the backspaced key got used a LOT for this post....**
1 comment:
Damned rum!
I can't say that I understand why, but I hope you both end up okay through all of this. Actually, from the dated post, I hope the last month has been okay for each of you.
We all have our own particular traits, and in spite of that one, many of us still love you. We don't understand it at times, but we overlook the one for many of the good. Anyway, it is the longest you've tried at a relationship, and that says something in and of itself.
Hmmm... I think I like you drunk when writing. It gives a deeper and more earnest sense to your writing.
^_^
Well. Happy future Thanksgiving Day! Lots of love to everyone. See you sometime 2009. Take care.
--Amanda McG.
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